"Are you your aesthetic?"

by Shadanté on October 24, 2017 - 11:58pm

It is a yes and a no.


No and that is because of my self consciousness, which plagues my thoughts. Thoughts of my appearance, my behavior, and how individuals/the public will react to those components of mine. Nowadays, strangers stare at me, especially at my dreads until I stare back. It results with me being anxious to if I should redo my hair and maintain a 'neater' style of dreadlocks. Such thoughts are influenced by some of my friends and family members, but I digress. Due to something like music or an ego boost , my behavior becomes quite obnoxious that even I find it childish at times. When a stranger catches me nodding and grooving to music in public, I may stop and critique myself. But then I reminder myself that that is who I am and I love those attributes of myself.


Yes and that is because regardless of what others may think, I find my outer appearance and behavior to be aesthetically intriguing. In the past, I kept changing my hairstyle because none of the previous styles resonated with my personality. I had dreads in the past, but I was uninformed of the types of dreadlocks one can attain and I didn't want to have the same style as others Nowadays, I feel like my free form dreads gives off a sense of uniqueness to not only my appearance, but to my behavior as well. While I am obnoxious at times, I am mostly cool, calm, and collective in public spaces. A vibrant hairstyle with a nonchalant behavior, the controversy in that is my aesthetic.         

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